Quotes from the minds of "Ice Berg"wall

"Ice Berg"wall is the nickname for my college dormitory, the source of virtually all of these quotes.
Note: some of these may not make sense to non-Taylor people. Some of these may not make sense to anyone!

Thought Provoking
1."Stills are fine as long as they're fluid" Aaron
2."True friends are people you can belch around" Adam
3."There's something about your own alarm clock, it reminds you of the worst part of the day" Jeff
4."Peanuts are chocolate covered peanuts without the chocolate." Bill
5."These Pistachios Are driving me nuts." Adam
6."If you don't want people talking behind your back, turn around." Bill
7."The sky begins where your head ends." Adam
8."Don't talk with your mouth open." Adam
9."You can't sneeze when you want to." Adam
10."Life is a snow storm that you have to walk into. So walk backwards." Mark
11."Everybody, be a nonconformist, just like me!" Hugh and Adam

Just Plain Dumb
1."It just got cold in here for some reason as soon as I took my sweat shirt off." Stutz
2."Those shoes might stink, but don't worry, they're brand new, they won't smell." Lance
3."If I didn't know any better, I would think." Hugh
4."Sometimes, sometimes not." Hugh
5."If I don't think about it, then there's nothing to think about." Bill
6."Recent studies have proven that all American Citizens are completely naked when they don't have any clothes on." Mark
7."Maybe if I finish my sentences" Hugh
8."There are sophmores, and then there are hardmores." Myron
"Then there are sophmores, and then there are hardlesses." Adam
9."Some people don't appreciate a man who speaks a confusing statement at the same time." Mark

D. C. Food
1."The one advantage to DC food is that it makes you loose your appetite." Adam
2."Got to wash your hands before you mess with the garbage [DC food]." Myron
3."Does anyone want to go to the bathroom? Oopse, I mean the D. C." Bill (This was an honest mistake!)

Sleep & Studying
1."When you're so busy that you don't even have time to do what's keeping you so busy, you're too busy." Bill
2."I hate it when I don't have enough time to go to the bathroom." Jason
3."Stutz looks so nice when he's studying, it's totally un-Stutz" Bill
4."I'm studying really soon. Really, I am" Jason
5."I woke up at 9:30 this week" Bill, after my first all-nighter
6."Heck, our sleep is so messed up, we don't know what early or late is!" Adam
7."I hate first Mondays of the week." Brandon
8."Alarm clocks came after the Fall." Joe
9."Stupid questions deserve stupid answers. Therefore, stupid classes deserve stupid papers." Mark and Bill
10."The best day to cut class is the day class is cancelled." Bill
11."I should write a song about the paper I have to write." Mark

1."Girls shouldn't have birthdays" Jim
2."There's a whole lotta fat girls in the world." Eric
3."The more I know about women, the more I like my 30-06 rifle." Spencer
4."Why do I have to like some good lookin' optimistic woman anyway?" Spencer
5."Guys have Sega, girls have guys."
6."Girls are like DOS - old & outdated." Jason
7."Women is wierd." Brad

1."Think about God's schedule: 'Oh my word! It's 8:00! I have to be everywhere in 5 minutes!' " Greg
2."God made everything, we just messed it up." Bill
3."I'm glad God's in control because I'm not!" Adam
4."God invented natural intelligence networking" Adam, referring to the umbilical cord.
5."It's never over over. Not until the Lord comes will it be over." Bill

1."I can't wait for winter." Jim (from Houston)
2."Dude, my room just got thrashed, majorly." Stutz
3."Don't damage Taylor property?! We damage it just by living here!" Jim
4."What am I doing? This game makes me think!" Adam, while playing 3D Tetris
5."Life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100% mortality rate." Jim
6."They elected Clinton because they wanted change. Well that's all we're going to have left!" Bill
7."Our walls are starting to look like Swiss cheese." Jim
8."President Bush has just declared Bill's desk a federal disaster." Stutz
9."What do you need freezers around here for?" Jim (from Houston). "Security" Adam
10."It would be awesome to be able to belch musically." Adam
11."So many video games to play and not enough time to play them" Bill
12."I learned something about a computer today. It works!" Myron
13."Hey Myron, how's your week been?" Adam
"Oh, it's like every day, 7 times." Myron
14."There's nothing like a good sense of 'Hugh' mor." Adam
15."When the grit on the floor starts accumulating like snow, it's time to vacuum." Bill
16."Stutz is a ladies' man, in his own mind." anonymous
17."Indiana is flat until you ride your bike." Eric
18."I am not an object..." Bill
19."The word superfulus is superfulus." Dave
20."Laughter is the best medicine, but I don't like drugs." Joe
21."Oh, left a head back there." Mitch
22."I've got some more blank disks here, but they have stuff on them." Bill
23."Hermits have no peer pressure." Justin
24."Indoor soccer is more fun outdoors." Ethan
25."Don't get killed, it could hurt." Hugh
26."Dave, what would we do if you hadn't brought the TV?" Bill
"What? That would be like if I hadn't brought clothes!" Dave
27."I may seem like a geek now, but I'll be cool later." Bryan
28."You never really know untill you find out." Tim
29."God has unlimited bandwidth." Bill
Buthead of the Week awards
(Dumb things that college students do, and rarely if ever awarded weekly).

Bruce - Told questionable joke while Mowery (hall director) was in the room.
Ryan - Jumped, hit his head on the vent in middle of the hall
Josh - Only one with a VCR, didn't come back to school
Ryan - Spilled the soda
Ryan - left Taylor without warning, went to cooking school
Ryan - Seen naked during open house
Mike and Jeremy- Drove to Idaho for Taylor's basketball tournament game
Ryan - Seriously thought peanut butter would make his hair grow faster, then asked if he should use creamy or chunky
Jeremy - Threw a CC bottle really hard without looking, and almost hit Tara in the head.
David - broke corner of toilet tank while sitting down to go
Jeremy - Hit Doug Smith (Morris hall director (?)) with snow ball
Greg - Attacked by Karate Bob (A ceramic chicken)
Justin - Left Patty (his girlfriend) waiting in the lobby for 45 minutes because he forgot about her.
Matt - broke basement door window.
Matt - Lost the race 'cause he tripped inches from the finish while in the lead.
Matt - Pushed Mario through the wall, making large hole.

Offline humor files

I also have a significant collection of humor on a wide variety of topics. If you're looking for anything specific, let me know what you're looking for , and I'll see if I have anything on that subject. Send e-mail to Bill222E@ensingers.com. When you write, please let me know how you found my web site and the address for your web page if you have one.

Here are some of the topics:

Answering Machine
Applications to live at certain places, You know you're from...
Computers (more than what is just listed)
  Error Messages
  Help Line
  Operating System specific
Family Stuff/Kids/Elderly
Health (s?)care
Legal stuff
Picture humor
Short story Jokes
Taylor University
Things to do
Tid Bits/One (Or 2) liners

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